.
ALFA: Aging Latin F’ers Ambulance. Another Lousy Foreign Auto.
ASTON MARTIN: A Silly Toy Of Neurotic Middle Aged Rich Toffs Investing Needlessly.
AUDI: Another Useless Deutsche Invention.
BMW: Bought My Wife; Brings Me Women; Big Money Waster; Broke My Wallet; Babe Magnet Wannabe; Big Money Waster; Bavarian Manure Wagon; Bring More Wrenches.
CADILLAC: Crazy And Demented Idiots Like Large American Cars.
CHEVROLET: Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips; Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time.
CHRYSLER: Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repair!
DODGE: Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere; Dad’s Old Dead Garage Experiment; Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter.
FIAT: Failed Italian Automotive Technology; Feeble Italian Attempt (at) Transportation; Fix It Again Tony!
FORD: Fix Or Repair Daily; Fast Only Rolling Downhill; First (or Fails) On Race Day; Found On Road Dead; Funding Our Retirement Daily (from mechanic`s point of view); First On Recall Day; Fatally Obese Redneck Driver; Fix Or Recycle Dilemma; Formerly Old Recycled Dodge; Follow Our Rusty Dogsled; Driver Returning On Foot (Ford spelled backwards!).
HOLDEN: Heaps Of Loud Disgusting Engine Noises; Holes, Oil Leaks, Dents, Engine Noises.
HONDA: Had One Never Did Again; Hold On, ‚Nother Dickhead Arriving; Hang On, Not Done Accelerating.
HYUNDAI: Hope You Understand Nothing’s Driveable And Inexpensive; Hang Your UNDerwear Anywhere Inside.
ISUZU: It Sucks, Unless Zero Used.
JAGUAR: Junk Always Going Under At Repair Shop; Just Another Gearbox Under Annual Repair.
JEEP: Junk Engineering Executed Poorly; Just Enough Engine Power; Just Expect Every Problem.
KIA: Kick It Again; Keep It Away; Kill It Anyway.
LOTUS: Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.
LTD: Lazy Temperamental Device; Laughable, Trash Dump.
MAZDA: Mostly Always Zipping Dangerously Along; Made After Zero Design Analysis.
MERCEDES: Many Expensive Repairs Can Eventually Discourage Extra Sales.
MG: Merciless Garbage; Money Guzzler.
MG-B: Might Go Backwards.
MG-F: Might Go Forwards
MINI: Moron Inside Notably Insane.
MINIVAN: Manhood Is Nonexistent, I’m Vasectomized And Neutered.
MITSUBISHI: Mostly In The Shop Undergoing Big Investments, Sometimes Halfway Incomplete; Motor Is Tough, Sounds Unbelievably Bad, Intimidates Slow Hondas Incessantly.
MUSTANG: Motor Under Strain, Transmission Almost No Good.
NISSAN: Needs Imminent Salvage So Abandon Now; Nasty Import Sucks Savings Away to Nippon.
OLDSMOBILE: Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday; Old Ladies Drive Slowly, Mostly Off Bridges Into Lake Erie!
PONTIAC: People On Narcotics Think It’s A Cadillac; Puts Out Noxious Toxins In All Cities.
PORSCHE: Proof Of Rich Spoilt Children Having Everything.
SAAB: Still Ain’t A Beamer; Send Another Automobile Back; Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown; Start Adding Additional Brakefluid; Sad Attempt At Beauty.
SUBARU: Screwed Up Beyond All Repair Usually.
SUZUKI: Space Usually Zero Unless Kids Inside.
TORANA: Tons Of Rust And No Acceleration.
TOYOTA: Taking Our Yen Out Through Australia; The One You Ought To Avoid; They Overcharge You On Their Accessories; and Take Off Your Oversized Tires A’hole.
TRIUMPH: This Really Is Unreliable Man, Please Help; Tried Repairing It Until My Parts Hurt!
VOLVO: Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object; Very Old Lazy Vehicle Owner.
VW: Very Weird; Virtually Worthless.
Beetle: Battered Everywhere, Expect To Lose Engine
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